Have a Very Merry (Ugly Sweater) Christmas
by Terapsina
Summary: "I adore Christmas." / "Then you shouldn't have any problem wearing this in the name of holiday spirit and keeping our covers." Eleanor smiles sharply and once more extends the sweater at Tahani. And Tahani once more leans back as if she's being offered lice.


**Disclaimer** : Not mine.

 **AN** : Because I'm apparently using this advent challenge to try out writing for ships I haven't really written for before.

Hope my Eleanor and Tahani came out okay.

*o0O0o*  
* **Have a Very Merry (Ugly Sweater) Christmas** *  
*o0O0o*

"Don't be such a Grinch, Tahani." Eleanor says, arms crossed, stare hard and a knitted red-and-green monstrosity clenched in her hands.

"Excuse me?" Tahani's voice rises in pitch as she gasps in offense, hand going to her chest and drawing Eleanor's eye to the low cut neckline of her dress.

"A Grinch. A Scrooge. A holiday curmudgeon. She who hates Christmas." Eleanor lists off counting them down on her fingers theatrically as she does so.

"I know who Grinch is, _thank you!_ And I am not that… that… ugly green creature." Tahani says, arms flying around to emphasize her point. "I _adore_ Christmas. My Christmas parties are the events of the year. I once raised 3 trillion dollars at my Winter Season Charity Gala. It was attended by my good friend Emma Thompson and-"

"Then you shouldn't have any problem wearing this in the name of holiday spirit and _keeping our covers_." Eleanor smiles sharply and once more extends the sweater at Tahani. And Tahani once more leans back as if she's being offered lice.

Honestly saying the sweater looks like a Christmas tree threw up on it and made a woman's portrait from the vomit would be a compliment, but if Eleanor's being forced to wear one with a deranged clown in a Santa costume then she's taking everyone else down with her.

Eleanor is almost impressed with Vicki's new play at torturing them.

Showing up at Eleanor and Chidi's house, with big fat crocodile tears running down her face and crying about how no one else wanted to be wearing the holiday sweaters she'd knitted for the occasion was pretty inspired. Michael was extra scornful, which she's noticed happens when he wishes he'd have come up with it himself in one of his 802 previous attempts.

So, unfortunately, what the 'Eleanor-who-thinks-she's-in-heaven-by-mistake-and-must-pretend-to-be-a-good-person-and-totally-doesn't-at-all-know-this-is-actually-the-bad-place' was supposed to do was grit her teeth and fold with a pained smile.

On the bright side maybe there will finally be something that doesn't make Tahani look like a fairy goddess and she can finally kill this unfortunate crush deader than a doornail.

—

Tahani's angrily eating gingersnap cookies across the room and she looks gorgeous even in the sweater from hell (literally). Of course she does, Eleanor grabs her fourth glass of champagne and swallows it in one long gulp.

She looks down at the Santa Clown smiling up at her with its big, creepy, blood red grin. "Shut up! I'm going to burn you later you know that right?"

—

A lot of the rest of the night is gonna be blank but what Eleanor will remember the next morning is gonna be this:

—

 _All of them in a circle, as they all do end up ritually burning their sweaters in Tahani's back yard. Even Chidi looking like he feels better after they go up in flames (his had the picture of two garish-looking red boots)._

 _—_

 _The satisfied smile on Tahani's face as her sister's likeness joins the bonfire being both terrifying and really hot._

 _—_

 _The thought that Eleanor should totally tell her that._

 _—_

 _"Hey, Tahani…"_

 _—_

 _Roasting marshmallows over the fire and trying to sing some dirty versions of traditional Christmas carols but ending up just giggling as soon as too many 'forks' join the lyrics._

 _—_

 _"You're way, way, way hotter than um... that sweater face, with the- things."_

 _—_

 _A kiss that tastes like burnt sugar and cranberry punch and gingerbread._

 _—_

 _Flashes of smooth bronze skin and silky long hair. A playful bite at her neck. Her own mouth traveling down a naked chest._

—

Eleanor wakes up warm and safe and really, really naked.

"Oh, bloody forking hell." Curses a familiar British voice from behind her.

*o0O0o*

 **AN2** : Yes, once long ago I made a post about how the season wouldn't be complete until Tahani and Eleanor burned Tahani's sister's portrait and roasted marshmallows over the fire. I finally wrote it... sort of.


End file.
